Subject: which is right
Date: 16 June 2006
From: Flash Light
To: Dr. Sophronius
Dear Dr. Sophronius,
In evaluating a course of medical treatment it is often possible to conduct double blind tests and come to objective conclusions about which treatment is most beneficial. The benefits of good hygiene have clearly been demonstrated by medical science, and there is no question handwashing saves lives.
Is there a similar scientific test which could demonstrate that one religion leads to salvation, while others don't? If so, it might be possible to conclude one religion "got it right," while the others didn't, hence one religion is proven most beneficial for its followers.
Wittgenstein famously answered this question saying, "Whereof we cannot know, thereof we should not speak." This is where moral philosophy had remained for decades since Wittgenstein. Since it was impossible to know if any religion leads to salvation, it was impossible to argue along those lines in order to privilege one religion over another. Hence all religious operating systems were equal.
However, to be perfectly candid, this changed in 1985 when genetic engineers reported that they had been able to resurrect an ancient Egyptian mummy because the mummification process had succeeded in preserving the DNA of the departed. At that point one religion, the worship of Anubis, had clearly been demonstrated by scientific means to offer an advantage to those seeking resurrection.
I understand that your beliefs were shaped by the psychic power of the pastor who correctly predicted the outcome of your graduate application process. As I've said, the priesthood of all religions gained authority from their psychic powers. Please try to appreciate the psychic power of the ancient Egyptian priesthood, who were able to devine the importance of preserving DNA millenia before modern science even knew that DNA existed.